Monday, May 21, 2012
I have been noticing, once again, that chores, work, and necessary family obligations and now, with spring in full force, yard, garden and sprucing demands, ‘I’ have fallen way, way down on my priority list. I don’t know about you but I can manage to cruise along for a few weeks, busy as all get out and then suddenly I am ‘ill.’ Not physically ill, although if I ignore my needs for too long the Universe will shut me down with a sickness of sorts. No, what I mean is I become crabby, irritable and short fused, which really is not who I am. That’s when I usually realize I’m in need of some peace and quiet, some soaking in a hot tub, a nice long walk in the woods or a hour of drinking up some sun in the back yard. The problem is I schedule myself into a tight box and there isn’t any wiggle room for ‘me’. This dilemma is no ones’ fault but you know who, myself.
So, then the question is, “Why do I continue to do this to myself over and over again?” I have repeated this pattern in my life for decades. Why don’t I learn? I believe it goes way back to my childhood as it does for most of us women. I bet if you have a similar tendency that your Mom was very much like mine. My dear Mother was go, go, go and fall into bed and get up and do it all over again. She never did anything just for herself and I got the message loud and clear that EVERYONE and EVERYTHING is more important than us (meaning her and me). By the way, she was famous for being the ‘witch’ of our neighborhood…no big surprise there. She absolutely did the very best she knew how to do but who can teach what they have not been taught? Intellectually I can both see and understand the origin of this self-defeating behavior however, putting a permenant stop to it has been quite another story.
Recently a friend and I were talking about this exact thing and we stumbled upon what might be a solution. Awareness is always the first and most important step to changing any habit but how to notice before the beast has been awoken? Asking for help from my angels, guides and most importantly Source. DUH!!! Sometimes it takes a while, and this time it’s been 30 years in the making but eventually I remember the thing that always works…H.P. (Higher Power. It may sound like I am some kind of holy-roller here, but the truth is we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that means that the greater, wiser more accepting part of ourselves (H.P.) is available to assist us at any given time. There is one hitch though. We have to ‘ask’ because part of the deal with scoring a life as a human was that we were given ‘free will.’ There is never and will never be anything imposed on us…it goes against the Laws of the Universe. That means we choose everything in our experience whether we are conscious of it or not. Darn it! So, remembering to ask, in my opinion, is like creating any other positive habit, it needs to be linked to a daily or multi-daily task. That way we can remember to do it. For instance, I practice my balance by standing on one foot while I brush my teeth each night, 30 seconds on each foot, alternating feet, until my electric tooth brush cues me 2 minutes has past. Sounds silly but balance is something that we lose if we don’t practice it so, I linked it to brushing my teeth. I also believe we need at least ½ ounce of water per pound of body weight each day for optimal, healthy hydration. For me that means I need 85 ounces each day. There is nothing more important then breathing and water as far as humans go. So, I have decided to link a short affirmation/prayer to my ritual of drinking water throughout the day. It goes like this, “Source, I am open and available to your reminding me to take good care of myself. Help me to love and nurture myself as you would love and nurture me. Thank you.” That’s it. I usually drink water on the average of 7-9 times a day so I figure in a month or less, Source and I will have made a significant shift transforming this old, damaging habit into one of self-appreciation. I realize old habits are often stubborn to change which is why I purposely chose to link the affirmation to something I will be doing a lot of. I truly believe this will work for me and I hope I have given you an idea to experiment with as well.
We are eternal works in progress and always will be…there simply is no done and that is a good thing. For that is what puts the eternal in eternity. Remember you are an amazing creator and the one thing you are most here to create is YOU! As free-will beings we are always at choice so take heart and know that you have the power to create yourself in any likeness you wish. It may take some conscious effort and a whole lot of help from the powers that be but there is never any shame in asking the ONE for a leg up. Happy mind, body and spirit fitness to you always.